By AIDAN KNIGHT
IN what experts are calling a “speedrun of democracy,” Latrobe City Council clocked its shortest meeting in living memory on Monday, October 6.
Running for an excruciating seven minutes total, it was almost a miracle the Express team managed to stay awake for the duration.
A special meeting, taking place purely for the sake of a single motion pertaining to the finance report.
All councillors were present except Morwell River Ward’s Tracie Lund, who perhaps trusted her colleagues to handle this high-stakes 420-second saga without her. Also absent was Boola Boola’s David Barnes, who apparently missed the event because it took less time than finding a park.
The editorial team noted so few were in attendance in the gallery that there was actually an entourage of one security guard per person, ensuring that everyone received their own personal bodyguard experience.
The paperwork for the authorisation and certification of the 2024/25 finance report and performance statement was not entirely assembled in time for the previous regular meeting, on September 23.
Council is bound by legality to move the motion as soon as the groundwork to do so is completed, calling for the shortest of short special meetings, of which nature had not been seen since the emergency meeting held in June, opposing the ESVF tax.
With no public participation, no acknowledgements, and no questions, councillors found themselves already three-quarters done after approving the previous minutes.
Newborough Ward Councillor Sharon Gibson moved the motion on the finance statement, and it was seconded by Moe Ward’s Adele Pugsley before being carried unanimously.
Cr Gibson spoke on the efforts of councillors Joanne Campbell (Jeeralang) and Leanne Potter (Budgeree) on the draft.
“These two councillors are on our audit committee, which is one of the most important we have on council,” Cr Gibson said.
“There’s over 200 million (dollars in revenue) that council actually oversees with our budget, and these two (councillors) are part of the audit and risk committee, going through everything that is coming through council.
“They’re very wise in what the risks and proceedings are, and it’s very important that they get it right so VAGO (Victorian Auditor-General’s Office) isn’t after all – and rightfully so.
“I am so so happy to support this so those two councillors who are in this room can sign off on the paperwork”, Cr Gibson concluded, and that they did.
Before proceedings to scribble their signatures like bureaucratic rock stars, Cr Campbell noted the honour she felt to serve on the committee, as well as the work done by the executive team in the space, summing it up with, “I’m pretty happy with this and we’re moving in the right direction”.
Mayor Dale Harriman (Loy Yang Ward) closed the seven-minute meeting wryly, by turning to the two Express reporters and two residents in attendance and informing them “there’s biscuits available for the long trip home from the short meeting”.
This is handy, as the meeting did not run long enough to even microwave a frozen lasagne for the civic spectacle.
And with that, the curtains closed on Latrobe’s fastest council meeting ever, proving once again that politics doesn’t have to be slow … just well-catered.
